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Message to
engaged couples:
Hello!
We are L. W. 'Bud' Quinn and Christina Brittain, licensed wedding officiants / non-denominational
ministers / Justices of the Peace.
For many years, in Washington and Oregon
we have enjoyed helping people create ceremonies that reflects their
values and intentions for their significant life events.
We truly enjoy the intimacy and relaxed atmosphere of small weddings.
We perform a variety of services.
You can choose an inter-faith
ceremony, spiritual union, religious or civil nuptials, and
a commitment of love without the legal bonds.
Following are some frequently asked questions. If yours is
not answered here, please write or call. We look forward to helping
you create a ceremony to mark an important transition in your life.
1. What is your training and experience as a
wedding officiant / minister?
Christina has Bachelor
and Master of Science degrees in Human Resources, a doctorate in
applied psychology, and honorary doctorate in divinity. In addition,
she have spiritual training in the
Christian faith, as well as Celtic and native traditions. L. W. Quinn
is an ordained minister.
2. Do
you have a price list?
Our rates depend on the nature of the ceremony, your budget, as well
as location, rehearsal, and other elements that might result in an
increase in the time needed to prepare or perform the ceremony.
You can download our
Fee
Brochure to help you estimate the cost before calling us.
3. What sort of ceremony do you do?
It depends on what you want.
We believe that couples choosing to
get married should have the opportunity, if they wish, to
participate in the creation of their own wedding ceremony.
We have a
lot of experience in helping couples find ways and words to honor
their spiritual values and create a ritual that has meaning for
them. Sometimes the ceremony looks very traditional and sometimes it
is less traditional.
In all cases, we strive to create a mood and
atmosphere that is heartful, but not stiff and uncomfortable.
Ideally, we would have one or more conversations by phone or in
person to get to know each other a bit so that we can help couples
develop a ceremony that is a reflection of your most deeply held
beliefs and intentions.
Our primary service is the wedding/commitment
ceremony. However, we encourage people to honor many special
occasions by creating and participating in memorable ceremonies to
enhance their importance. Possibilities are celebration ceremonies
to welcome transitions: birth, death, graduation, partnership,
coming out... even amicable divorce.
We help people compose and/or conduct a meaningful
ceremony that fits their unique desires and attractions of the
people who hire us.
4. Do you conduct
an
initial interview with the engaged couple?
Last minute elopements are usually planned via phone and email only
because the details and ceremony are very simple and easy to put
together.
In many
cases, the couple meets with us so we can get acquainted and ask one
another questions so everyone can decide if we are a good "fit" for
what the couple has in mind.
We will
show the couples photos or previous weddings, examples of ceremonies
we have previously performed, and take them on a tour of places on
our property where they can marry. a personal interview is the
best way to establish a mutual level of comfort before deciding to
proceed. We enjoy believe it is an honor to share in the wedding
day, so couples who engage us to host and officiate their wedding
can feel confident that they have made the right decision from
beginning to end.
5. Do
you do interviews over the telephone?
We have also
planned more elaborate weddings by long distance communication alone
because the couple to be married was overseas and would not arrive
at our venue until the wedding day.
Then, if you decide
to use our services and are in town sometime before the wedding, we
will be happy to met and get to know you better before the ceremony.
6. How long does your ceremony last?
Again, it depends on what you wish. We can do a simple,
traditional ceremony with no frills and take as little as ten
minutes. Or, we can take 20 minutes or longer, and know that we have
done something very special together that you and your loved ones
will be glad to remember for the rest of your lives.
7. We're not very religious people. We don't belong to a church
or any sort of faith community but we'd like a ceremony that honors
the spiritual dimension of life. Can you help us with that?
Absolutely!
we find that most people want more than a civil
ceremony. They may not be sure what they believe about God or may
not want a lot of religious terminology, but they do want to frame
their commitment in spiritual terms.
8. Do
you do non-religious ceremonies?
Yes.
Whether people have a strong spiritual orientation to life or not,
we believe that "spiritual" means affirming the deep experience of
life's mystery and wonder. We have conducted ceremonies for
humanists or non-religious, in which case we omit any referrals to
God in His/Her many names, and still create meaningful and
emotionally moving ceremonies.
9. My partner is of another faith and we want to have a
spiritual ceremony, but don't want to offend anyone by having a
"Christian wedding." Can you help us with that?
Yes.
Together we can create a ceremony that honors
your spiritual roots and also honors your decision to grow beyond
the confines of any one tradition. The important thing to remember
is that you are planning the first major event in your new life as a
married couple, the wedding ceremony itself. This ceremony, ideally,
should be a reflection of your values, beliefs, and intentions for
your life together. At the same time you don't really want to offend
anyone on this most special of days. We are sure we can find a way to
keep our balance on this tightrope.
10. What do you need to know from us?
About you personally,
we would like to know as much as you're willing
to share. We love to hear the story of how and when you first met.
When did you realize that this relationship was special? What kinds
of challenges does this relationship present to each of you? Have
either of you been married before? What happened in that marriage?
Do you have any children? Would you like to involve them in the
ceremony in some way? Who will be in the wedding party? Will your
parents be in attendance? Will someone "give the bride away?" Will
you be exchanging rings? Are you planning any music, anyone singing
or playing a special song? Are there any particular readings you'd
like as part of the ceremony? Are you planning a rehearsal? Would
you like to write your own vows?
11. How much lead time do you need to prepare a ceremony?
If you want something very simple and traditional with nothing to
make it personal to you, we can do that immediately. But if you want
a ceremony that really speaks to who and where you are, that puts
this moment in the context of your life, we would appreciate as much
notice as possible. In any case, my calendar tends to fill quickly
so it's best to call as soon as you know your date.
12.
How far in advance do you book a ceremony?
Generally, anywhere from two weeks to six months with
flexibility on dates before and after that as well. We are also
perform last minute ceremonies an celebrations, sometimes with only
an hour's notice.
13. Can
we help write the ceremony?
We encourage you to participate in creating the ceremony! We help
people write their own ceremonies by by giving them samples, ideas,
and past ceremonies so the final document is memorable and
meaningful.
14.
How far are you willing to travel?
We
recently performed a wedding in Port Angeles, Washington. Time
permitting, we will travel throughout the Northwest and beyond if
the couple is willing to pay all our travel and lodging expenses.
15. Do you wear a robe or suit?
That is up to the couple getting
married. Usually, a simple black robe, or black
suit. You decide what's appropriate for your wedding.
16. What is your fee? And how do we
reserve a date?
The fee depends on a variety of things. How complex is the
ceremony? Is there a rehearsal? How many consultations will we have?
Is there significant travel involved? There is no charge for an
initial consultation, and after that first meeting, we will
determine the fee.
Receiving
a deposit for half the cost of your ceremony is standard for
reserving a particular date. Deposits are non-refundable except in
extreme circumstances.
17. Will you officiate at a ceremony for a same sex couple?
Much discussion and public debate is now taking place on the
issue of same sex marriage and the legal status of those marriages
that have taken place. And many Christian denominations, as well as
faith communities from other traditions, are engaged in painful and
challenging discussions about how to understand this issue. we
believe that two people, regardless of their sexual orientation, who
are in a loving, committed relationship, promising each other the
safety, space and support necessary for their mutual growth and
development as persons should be able to marry if they so choose. We
would be happy to honor such a relationship with an appropriate
ceremony.
18. Do you require couples to have counseling
before officiating their marriage?
This is an important question.
The choice is yours as to whether you
would like pre-marital counseling.
Most couples, if given a choice, will choose not to have
counseling. Perhaps they feel it’s unnecessary because they think
they’ve already talked through all of the issues that could trouble
their marriage. Or perhaps they’re so caught up in the romance and
excitement of their relationship that they can’t conceive of
anything ever coming between them. Going to a counselor who will ask
questions and stimulate discussion about “personal” matters may then
seem intrusive and a waste of time. And if it’s a counselor who is
also a clergy person, it may feel even more threatening if their
experience of “religion” or clergy is has not been positive.
Having said that, it’s my experience that ignorance isn’t really
bliss at all. Going into a marriage without going through a process
of self-examination and open discussion with your partner is like
walking into a mine field. You don’t really know what to expect.
Marriage is perhaps the most complex of human relationships, and
it’s intended to last for a lifetime, but unfortunately many couples
are not equipped to deal with the challenges they face in marriage.
It’s estimated that over half of all first marriages will end in
divorce, the average marriage lasting less than seven years.
Loving someone doesn’t mean there will never be conflict, but how
you deal with the conflict, how you communicate with each other as
you work through the conflict is vitally important. We are all
required to study and take tests, written and practical, before
getting a license to drive a car, but no such tests are currently
required in most states before getting a marriage license. Those
couples who are already living together before marriage may think
that is adequate preparation, but statistics show that cohabitation
prior to marriage does not increase marital success. There is no
substitute for good preparation.
If you desire, we can provide you with a questionnaire that
each partner takes separately which when scored shows the strengths
and growth areas of the relationship. It teaches valuable
communication and conflict resolution skills and helps couples
become aware of important issues before they turn into major
problems.
19. Are you available to do
other kinds of ceremonies, in addition to weddings?
We began
Special
Moments Ceremonies and Celebrations at Quinn Mountain primarily to perform weddings,
and it has successfully connected us with couples who
want an opportunity to celebrate their love in a way that affirms,
without a lot of “religious language,” their values and the
spiritual connection that binds us all together in the human family.
Most of the couples that find their way to
us are not looking for
a church wedding (though some are, and we are happy to work with them
as well.) They’re seeking to be more inclusive and they want a
personal touch and a relationship with an officiant who has time for
them and their concerns.
HOME BLESSINGS
& POSITIVE PARTINGS: We have created home blessing ceremonies and even parting
ceremonies for couples who found themselves going in different
directions, and after counseling, realized their marriage was not
healthy for them. Such a ceremony is an opportunity to affirm their
love for each other and their gratitude for a shared journey while
also releasing each other from those wedding vows.
VOW RENEWALS: Still others contact us when they wish to affirm their love in a
vow renewal ceremony. Often this occurs after the couple has endured
some period of stress and uncertainty about their relationship.
Having worked through the difficulty, often with professional help,
they want to celebrate this victory of love and forgiveness with an
appropriate ceremony.
What’s true is that life is full of transitions of various kinds,
and what’s also true is that in our culture we are impoverished when
it comes to acknowledging these transitions with appropriate
ceremony.
Many people today do not have an ongoing relationship with
a community of faith. They may have grown up in a particular
religious tradition, but many have left it by the time they entered
college. Though some find their way back later in life, many do not,
and feel the loss of their connection with Spirit. Our work,
our
calling, if you will, is to be there for such people to create with
them a meaningful ceremony to mark a time of transition.
20. Wedding planning services:
We provide planning services only for couples who wish to marry at
their own location. Fee is normally $500 to $1000 for a custom
wedding.
If you
would like to talk with us about such in a time in your own life, or
in the life of someone you love, please contact us. Phone 360-837-3711. Or by email. See below. |